I recive no love just words of hate aimed at past mistakes barbs so sharp like a daggers blade wounding as it thrusts into skin why am i made to suffer the cruelty of him what reason do i stay a toy of one mans whim now this poison embeded in my soul creeps in to my brain he is all i know never to break free of the chains that bind only can i dream of a love one day to find longing for rescue of strong arms safe at last secure until that day comes life i will endure jayne katherine alexandria Llewin jkall

I sit now by the fireside
Watch the flames as they flicker and die
Now the music box plays its whimsical
Tune shadows flicker across the room

Music box pink and satin trim
Dainty ballerina dances within
Turning around wound
By a key
The tune it plays still haunts me

A ballerina upon a stage dances
Delightful for all to see
A polished performer a star
Long ago was me

Now memories stir
When my music box plays
Its soft melody
as the embers of
The fire grow cold
I sit quietly

Jayne Katherine Alexandria Llewin
Jkall

In a forest dell
with dew drops sparkling on blades of grass
the last tulip lifts her head
catching the  rays of the morning sun

 

opening up her petals unfold
on her stem of green
surounded by a cartpet of bluebells
her perfume still wafts the air
its scent still sweet 
atracting the lazy honey bee
gathering its nectar busily

 

this flower of spring time
will not last
and gently her petals fall
onto the earth as natures
seasons run
for her end has now begun

 

when the spring time comes again
the tulips will display
a gloreyious hue of
colours amid the spring times grey

 

jayne katherine alexandria Ll

2007

jkall 
jkall
2006

Do you know me at all
 do you understand how you have tortured my sole
buised and batterd feeling alone and betrayed
is this how i am to spend the rest of my days

fighting for my exsitance for my right to be free
not to have this dark cloud hanging over me
Do you feel how i feel i wonder if you dare
look inside the person that once with love you shared

 feelings destroyed the emotions swept away
 i understand now love is not here to stay
it came like a whirlwind and swept me along with the promisess
of a life time but i got it so wrong

all that is left is embers going cold from the once bright fire
with its colours of yellow and gold
blackend chared ashes my hands streaked with soot
as i sift through  memorys of the life that you took

jayne katherine alexandria Ll 
jkall)
2007

we walked together along the  shore
your hand in mine
happy and so in love
i can  still remember that time

 

 before the dark days came along 

 from my life you were torn

 

we pledged our love together we would always  be
then the sky turned grey 
 

sent away to far off lands to fight a enemy you did not know
but to protect our country
the duty was yours and i knew you had to go

 

letters came and i read them all thoes words brought you close
at night i kissed your picture
and rememberd you my dear

 

so full of life and of love  our future we had planed
before you went of to fight in a forien land
the deadly enemy that day you did not see
and a hail of gunfire a stray bullet took you away from me

 

and for peace and freedom you suffered this fate
but you were a peacefull person with no thought of hate

you went because it was the right thing to do
you went because your country wanted you

you never hesitated you never played the fool
why did this happen to us why is life so cruel

your unborn child whos life is growing inside of me now
will never know your courage will never see your smile

 

i hope that our child will grow up never enduring
this pain
and i weep quitely and with refrain

for every mother ;father ;daughter ;son
who ever fights for our freedom
do not judge them anyone

 

for thoes that would condem them
for thoes that say
its not our country so why do our men pay

for without men like you
we may never see
anouther  glorious sunrise
living in peace and living free

jayne katherine alexandria Ll

jkall
2007
march 

Bits polished
leather gleams fluffy nose bands
on bridles hang

hooves oiled studs put in
manes plated time to win

 
watching rivals go the course

poles falling' gates knocked down
oh olivers in the water
dosnt he look a clown
 
Its your turn now
leg on off you go
through the starting box
over the first you flow

 

sharp turn to the treble
 now keep your line
look at you your flying 
dont worry about the time

 

Down to the last
that fearfull big red wall
not one hoof will allow
thoes bricks to fall

 

Clear round
audience claping
you can hear them
cheering your name
horse with sweat now dripping
leaves the hallowed
ring

 

jayne katherine alexandria Llewin
jkall
2007 copyxx

To sit astride mighty beast
feel the muscel strain
beneath
such beauty is constrained
by hand upon a
leather rein

 

to gently trot down country
lane
then gather pace
turn in to a open field
sences begin to race

 

flying now
no hand will hold
when galloping
at full pace
wonderfull the feeling
wind upon my face
 
jumping obsticals
with ease never altering
gaite soaring
up over
a five bar gate

 

slowing now heaving flanks
steam from his body
does rise
from such a magnificent
whirlwind ride

no whip shall ever
touch him
no spur to urge him on
just a gentel
word
to ride
then we are gone

 

jayne katherine alexandria Ll
jkall
2007 copyxx

empty now is the wild plane
where once you roamed free
hundreds of hooves pounded the canyons
silence now

 

rivers that you used to cross
places that you could hide
gone are thoes days
the old west up and died

 

once you were chased pened coraled
broken your wild majesty
to serve the will of man
this your desteny

 

the world forever in your debt
for the burdens you have had to bear
a nations love for the horse

the memorys imprinted though out the years
to flee when man does aproach
still remains

a few still roam the western plane
and still some you may see
living as they should
wild proud and free

 

jayne katherine alexandria Ll

jkall

2007

I can do no more of love i am bereft
no more pounding of my heart that lies
beneath my breast
 
Living  here is now hell hoping we shall
be apart from each other and at last
we can be free
 
Crying so much have i done
in the early hours when i am alone
thinking what else i could have done
 
Was it really my falt or was it the falt of none
was the battle over before it had begun
should we have stayed together when we knew
our love had died
or did you just stay for the child i carride
inside
 
Even he was not enough
for i already knew that you could never love me
like i could love you
No tenderness no loving have i ever recived
just crule rejection and hurtfull deeds
always aimed at me
 
So i can do no more for my love
has long shrivelled and died
and i have no more passion even that has been destroyed
 
Any compassion i once had
has  now turned to hate
for us now it is over
left to the winds of fate
 
Jayne katherin alexandria Ll
(jkall)2007

Hells child

 

Hell found me’ I did not find it, I never asked for its company nor it’s

countance.

 But there you go you can’t choose who you are born to be can you?

The place was hot dry dusty devoid of all but the basic thing’s a living sole needs to survive that’s how I knew it was hell

There was no place like it

Satan defiantly lived here I walked down the cave mouth it was not what I expected light shone from every crevice

No need for a torch no defiantly not what I was expecting at all

No little demy gods came scurrying out of the ground where were the howl’s of those that had done evil whilst they were alive surly my fathers minions should be torturing them

Silence

I should be seeing something by now I thought

Hello there was no answer only  a sound faint but still a sound I started to walk faster I was eager to be in that place

The only place I could do what I liked with no one to disturb me

Water I could see water

That couldn’t be right it was crystal clear you could see right down to …

Hello I jumped who on earth

Welcome you have been expected sit rest a while take a drink

The stranger handed me a golden cup I drank and drank as if my life depended on it ha! What life

I had long ago given up on life as it had on me oh I tried to be a good person always giving why I had given everything just to help and what had life given me nothing my wife children home family cruelly taken away

What did I do nothing I just had the mistaken belief that I could save everybody and when I found that I was not invincible and that I was in fact  not a hero nor a great person

 I turned my back on my life and just became totally invisible

I would do any thing people asked good old me well what had being good done me ….and now look at me I was down hear where I belonged and it had been a long journey

Why had I made it to tell you the truth I don’t know but it’s to late now? 

So the stranger said what brings you here? I am where I belong I am home

I know this is the place I have studied all the maps the books

And this is the place

Yes this is the place alright you have worked hard for it

Come I expect you need to rest for a while

I have no need of rest now I replied I would like to see him

Oh …

Well I am afraid you are in for a long wait

Why I demanded have I not earned the right to be here don’t you think after everything I have done I deserve to see him

The stranger had moved off away so I followed it seemed as if he was drawing further away from me

Hey wait if you haven’t come to take me to see

Silence he had gone

I walked on smiling to myself maybe he was one of them trying to see if I was worthy to be here

Hello a voice female well they can be just as evil

Only there was something fermiler about the voice

No…. it couldn’t be Sara ………Sara is that you

We have no names here come follow

You can’t be here is Tracy with you but she just smiled

Please tell me my voice sounded whinny like a child pleading

She motioned with her fingers Sara I know its you

I could almost touch her I wanted to but something made me hold back

She looked well almost translucent as I watched her following a shape appeared at her side, no….. my voice cried at  the form of my beloved daughter

Tracy the child looked at me then at her mother whom I had so desperately loved

Why would they appear to me in this place

Then it hit me of course this was to be my punishment

I would forever see them always in the distance never near enough for me to rescue them

I stopped and sagged against a bolder

I wept dam I thought all that would have been over now no more tears

She stood before me smiling no sadness in her eyes just peace

The little figure was clearer now she stood with the most brilliant light

Around her

My thoughts started to become clearer this could not be hell

If they were here my Sara was a wonderful person when alive

Full of vitality and generosity as for Tracy she was our gift

Then my mind wandered back to that day the smoke the flames I tried as I always had me the fire-fighter I had saved people but this one thing I could not save my wife and child

I looked into her eyes expecting to see judgment but nothing just calm gentle warmth it washed over me I wanted to go to her

I really did but something was holding me

She was fading her and my child

Please don’t go stay why have you come here is this to be my torture answer me

Nothing again I was  alone I sat’ no more could I move; my legs had become heavy and numb my head now felt as if someone had been pounding on it with a hammer

You could do with some water the stranger was back

The same goblet with the crystal water so cool like the most purest taste I looked at him trying to gather myself

Don’t try son he said if you try it will only confuse you

Who are you?

You don’t recognise me do you! no should I then again my mind seemed to clear

You

But you died when I was a child I barely remember you

But I have been with you all this time I was there when you fought for your mother I was there when you wed I was there when you were in pain and I am here for you now

It is not your time son this is just a shadow of what is to come after

Yes you will see them again but not now you still have work to do

Work how can I work I am dead

No you only wish to be so you can torture yourself over their death

See he showed me a figure in a bed surrounded by tubes little electrical blips were constantly beeping

There was me

What was I doing there I looked at my father you have been there for the last few months it has taken this long to reach you

And now we have it is to give you a message he does not want you to give up now there is much more you can give

All you have done has been in your mind you wanted to be punished for her death but you have never done anything else than be who you are you saved another’s child even though yours perished she would not have wanted you to just turn your back

Tears were falling thick and fast now it felt to me as if I was in the water struggling to stay afloat

I tried desperately to hear what my father was telling me

Come back tell me what more I have to do

But the voice had gone my eyes felt light and for the first time I realised I could feel pain I actually heard my voice croak

Please water

Then chaos there was a furry of activity

 Some time later much later as I sat at the table watching my friends

Waiting for that old feeling to come flooding into my veins

As the alarm sounded to another disaster

I realised that the voices were real I did not imagine them

I knew that every fire or rescue I attended there were others looking out for me

And if by some chance my life should be taken death was no longer

A mystery

Hell is of your own making and I had survived

Jayne katherin Alexandria Llewin 

how did it feel as the knife went in
can you tell me did you cry
I saw the look of suprise on your face
looking at me asking why

 

Dont you know this is what you made me do
your evil it had to stop
so i plunged it deep in your chest
onto the floor you droped

 

I stood their over your bloody form 

 wached the rise and fall of your chest
no help was comming for you
i calmly wiped the knife with
a vest

 

You see i never forgave you
i wonder if my words now you can hear
 you did not remember me
when all those years ago
you installed such fear

To you i was nothing
just a tool to satisfy your lust
a dark disturbed craving
that turned my life to dust

so i now will leave you
as silently as i came
and you will die alone
in the cold unforgiving rain

you will not be missed
i doubt if people will care
unlike the victims of your crime
those like me
still out there

jayne katherine alexandria Ll
jkall
2007

Why do we hurt each other
with the things we say  
said in temper
all out war
what is it we fight for

avoiding each other
walking out a room
wishing we could speak
instead
the cold pit of doom

what are we afraid of
that this might be the end
nither wanting to give in
nither willing to bend

 

Suffering we now go through
this deadly game we play
how much longer
can we go on in this way

 

we dont see whats happening 
our child stands 
crying before our eyes
trying so desperatly
 not to take either side 

sleeping alone
in the bed once ocupide
by two
is there nothing left
for me and you

embers of a couple
whos love just grew
cold
bitter now twisted
as we grow ever old

jayne katherine alexandria Ll
jkall
2007

So here I am again my heart is aching
weeping tears alone 
feel like i;m breaking
promises you made are all broken 

 

I tried to stand in the light were you could see me
behave as others do
but you ignor me
then just  swept aside
discarded

 

All the things we said did they mean nothing
all the plans we had
tell me somthing
what  do you see in you'r future
am i there

Even now in my pain  I try to reach you
to draw you near again 
is it hopeless
should i just give up my strugle
and abandon you

 

loved once burned bright
the flames were roaring
 my heart was full felt like i was soaring

those outstreched wings are now in tatters
why should i even care should you matter

to me  

 

so once again i send my plea to you
just one more more time
will you love me
as i still love you

 

jayne katherine alexandria Ll

jkall

2007 copyxxx 

do you hear me crying, can you feel my pain,
softly my tears are falling ,
like casscading rain .

do you hear my voice love ,can you hear me call,
carried on a gentle wind,
do you hear my footsteps fall.

 

 the silent steps i tread
no sound as i approach, 
for i am no longer with you.

 

do you know i watch you ,as you awake, do feel my precence
i am near. ,
do you know i am with you every whereyou go,
do you know you have nothing left to fear .
 
the silent steps i tread,

 no sound as i approach ,
for i am no longer with you .

 

do you understand love,

do you really see ,
this is how it plays love

 ,this is how it was meant to be

 

the silent steps i tread,
 no sound as i approach
 for i am no longer with you

 

we lived for each moment,and we both had fun,
do you know you were that special one,
for although im gone love,
my memory still  lives on,
every time a new day comes

 

the silent steps i tread

,no sound as i aproach,
for i am no longer with you.

 

so remember me love ,dont be sad, that that i'm not hear, 
 cherish the love that we once had,
and carry on love, with your life go on,
   every single day even though i am gone

 

the silent steps i tread

no sound as i approach
for i am no longer with you

 

for i am   with you,i will watch over you,
even though you are not aware,
and i will love you for all eternity
a gentle spirit watching over you with care

 

jayne katherine alexandreia Ll
jkall
2007 copyxxx

 

DESERT ORCHID A TRIBUTE

 

watching you was like seeing a fluffy white cloud
as stormy winds behind you blew
your hooves had springs eyes could not see
a joy to behold when racing free

you always gave your best whatever and wherever the test
on good or soft ground you stood tall
the groan of the crowed on the odd time you did fall

the most beautifull horse race goers did see
striding out majesticly
obsticals cleard with ease
many racecorse felt your breeze

in retirment to the crowds still came to you
paraded at the place of your great victorys
we watched as you grew old
still a white tornado that flew

today we heard the news
that you passed away
closed your eyes and went to sleep
upon a soft bed of straw so deep
and your fans will always remember
the pleasure that you gave

your name
was DESERT ORCHID
a most magnificent grey

jayne katherine alexandria Ll

jkall nov 2006

copyxxx2007

her nerves are taught as a wire set to snap
all she sences is danger
the courage
does she lack


her footsteps falter
she quietly steps this path
where is she to go
towards a uncertain future
leaving behind a sadend past

Ahead towards a new begining
her roll is still unclear
what is it that in life
she still fears

no longer that girl
older now and wise
but still frightend of the new begining
still scared to even try

what awaites around the corner
like the pages
of a book
just turn the paper
she shyly sneaks a look



Footsteps growing stronger
every day dertimination
in her eyes
a light burning brighter
in her heart
but her eyes still betray


for her path may be rocky
and her past maybe missunderstood
but she is a survior
the girl is doin good


like a majestic battle ship
sailing out to sea
on blue crystal waters
stormy though
they be


jayne katherine alexandria Ll
jkall
2007

ships crossing o'er the mighty waters blue
comes a erie sound heard by sailors
a'new
so sweet the voice calls from far away
many a man will recall
the words
that they say...



Oh come to me my love
safe from the sea.. with fair winds to guide
you home to me
together forever
no more shall ye roam
oh come to me husband
safe harbour home


many have heard.. her mornfull cry
carried on the ocean
over time
and many have searched for her
to hear again the tune
the song of the widow
lures them to their doom


Waiting upon the rocks looking
outwards to sea
awaiting her husband
to return saftly
child nestled in her arms
his eyes ne'r looked upon
his ship taken in a storm
her lover was gone


Oh come to me my love
safe from the sea ..with fair winds to guide
you home to me
together forever no more shall ye roam
oh come to me husband
safe harbour home

so sad was the widow
left so forlorn
her child so hungry
yet now she was poor
she flung herself from the rocks
into the sea
reunited with her husband
in death she utterd her plea

Oh come to me my love
safe from the sea ...with fair winds to guide
you home to me
together forever no more shall ye roam
oh come to me husband
safe harbour home

Many have heard her mornfull cry
carried on the wind
o'er time
many have searched for
the singer of the tune
the song of the widow
lures them to
their doom

Oh come to me my love
safe from the sea ...with fair winds to guide
you home to me
together forever
no more shall ye roam
oh comne to me
safe harbour home


jayne katherine alexandria Ll
jkall
2007

Feel these hands upon you
lovingly i caress
your torso my
fingers stroking your nakedness
so powerful with rippling muscles
no words of protest

shyly my eyes look into your face
with wonderment they see a spark
of passion
this magical force taking place
softly you touch my breast

Aching for sweet release
air catches my breath
a ritual two lovers entwined
without conscious thought
no longer aware

Taken to a higher plane senses in full flight
our rhythmic pulse flows
that powerful crescendo
hits with full force
as nature bestows

Gently lovers rest now
rejoice
gazing at each other
whisper late into the night
rest now ‘till the morning light

jayne katherine alexandria Ll
jkall
2007

Angel’s

 

Fleeting glimpses of white shadow in the corner of my eye

Angel’s on fluffy clouds quietly drift by

Watching and waiting serenely with their grace

Protecting and loving endless in time and space

 

Keeping there love for people knows no bound’s

Heaven’s children always looking down we do not hear them

We don’t know that they are there but angels protect us

Without a care

 

Angel’s are all around us with us in our daily toil

They weep for all the suffering for our lives are cruel

But when our time on this earth is done the angel’s will quietly come

And show them selves in a haze of bright and wonderos light

And take us home with soft whisperings

With all there gentle might

jayne katherine alexandria Ll

jkaLl

2007copyxx

The property

 

Dark!

 Was hardly the word Alex thought as she walked down the old overgrown path?

It was flipping pitch black

I mean not even a star was shinning

 Trust Reg and his flipping ideas.

 

 

Come on Alex; he had said’ there aren’t really vampire’s everybody knows they don’t exists

So go write the article about the old house’

 Give it lots of charm beef it up.

You mean lie!... no. just bend the truth a little’ after all we sell this property and we’re set.

So that’s why just after dark she found herself driving down the dusty abandoned pathway to the Craig’s property.

Funny thing was as she got nearer the place the blacker it became if that was at all possible’

It was a foreboding looking place long ago the previous owners had abandoned it

 Stories were rife about the goings on

Satanic cult’s witches’ demons” Alex chuckled

Well let the demons come! she was going to do this;

 She was good who else had the guts the tenacity to come out here

Who was she kidding?

A shiver ran down her back and goose bumps prickled on her arms

The inhabitants watched

And waited.

 

Still no sign of her; queried sue the next day

No she’s late came the response I have never known her to be late or unobtainable

Reg remarked

You don’t think she actually went up there.. Reg’ do you!

No don’t be daft sue’

 Even Alex wouldn’t go up there in the evening

“She would if you told her ‘ lets face it she loves you and would do anything if she thought it would help get this place going.

I know sue’ but I would never expect her to go up there at night

 

What are you going to do then’ people will ask questions if she doesn’t turn up ‘she has a full list of appointments

Oh for Pete sakes sue

Use your initiative’ 

“I will go up there myself;

 What about reporting her missing to the police! Err

No we don’t want to go doing that; people will get the wrong idea’

What you mean is you don’t want people to hear about this.

Just encase something has happened up there.

Will you  

 Shut up sue for the last time their are no demons vampires or anything else relating to the UN dead ok!

Well if you say so.

 

Reg drove along the road out of the village’ heading south

He tuned into his favourite radio station trying to keep his mind off Alex

He knew she was special not many girls would put up with his schemes and support him but she did

She was always their for him

Encouraging cheerfully selfless in her approach; she believed in him

When other’s laughed.

As he approached the road leading to the property’ it seemed to him that a darkness was all around  yet it was daytime by the time he got into the driveway he definatly had a eerie feeling and it was confirmed as he spotted Alex ‘s car

Alex…Alex Jesus where the hell could she be

Reaching for his phone he dialled   his office number no signal

Dam

He made his way to the building a rotting front door hanging by a rusted hinge was open

 Hello..

Alex are you in here?

The sight his eyes saw as he grew accustomed to the gloomy interior

Made Reg gasp:

 My god! As he ran towards thedisheviled figure teetering

On the staircase.

 Reg! You came I knew you would.. I told them see she uttered

He came.

 Who are you talking to Alex..  You’re not making sense told who there no one hears but us

But there is a voice loomed out of the cold hall..

 

Who the hell is that? 

 Alex had suddenly regained her composure now standing proudly she smiled a maniacal grin

This Reg is   the heir to this property and he wants it back

Alex for god sakes their has been no one wanting this place for years

You know that as well as me what his name then and why have we never

Had any correspondence from him

His name? Alex looked puzzled  

I can’t quite remember I’m sure he told me “so you come up here

Not a word to anyone  worry us all sick and all this time you’ve been

Cavorting with a stranger who just happens to claim he owns this place.

 Alex fell silent.

Sir

I do not claim to own this place I do own it

 This house does belong to me although it took quite a while for the New’s to filter down that the house was ready; I was not sure I was. 

And you can prove all this I suppose’

 Of course’ why you only have to ask your delightful assistant’

Talking of that what have you done to her?

 Why I have done nothing that she didn’t want me to.

I don’t think I like the tone of your voice or   what you are inferring

Sir

 I think I will leave and see if everything you have told me checks out Alex I suggest you come with me’ I will take you home and I think you must have had some kind of turn so I’m calling the doc when we get back

Come on lets go.

No I am afraid sir   you will not leave.

 I beg your pardon what do you mean.  Who the hell are you! to tell me I cannot leave I’m going come on Alex… grabbing her hand as he did  she let out a scream;

 Reg recoiled as if he’d been shot.

Look I don’t know what the hell you‘ve done but this aint right

I have done nothing but my children have as he moved aside reg fainted dead away.

He woke sometime later; seeing Alex sitting on the end of a large  bed he tried to sit up’ hush hush what do you mean hush he squeaked’ Alex please what’s going on what are those things and as he came too a little more he found himself tide

For pity sakes Alex untie me.

What did he mean by children? He was telling you the truth Reg

He has waited a long time for them to awaken years in fact

 

Long ago this place belonged to his family’ it was a grand place the life’s blood of the village it bought the place work and prosperity 

But his family had a secret; yearning for blood they believed in Lucifer, they held sacred ceremonies followed his teachings

Until

 Outsiders got to hear of the village its satanic goings on

Called upon the priests to banish the evil that dwelt here

 The children of the family hid in the deep dark places of this house no one knew where they were 

It was assumed they had been sent away 

 When the last of them, had been driven from this place the children stayed hidden.

 Now and again they would come out at night to feed

 That’s how this place got its reputation..

So you see why no one would buy this place it wouldn’t have mattered how much we glossed over its history

 They said satanic happings occurred here

 It was the children that fed the gossip, always in the dark not being seen quietly creeping in and feeding on the  strangers that came to see this place just enough to keep them going

But no one has visited here in a long time and they were getting hungry so really they have you to thank for sending me.

 

Because I heard them and I gave them what they needed

When they told me their was still a living descendent I had to seek him out after all we couldn’t sell a property that wasn’t ours now could we

But none of this makes any sense Alex you only came up here last night how the hell did he get here

Oh reg you really are a dense sole I called him of course

But that still doesn’t explain how he got here so fast if you called him last night  I mean he said himself that it takes news a long time to reach him where he comes from

So I ask again you still don’t see do you

He never left here he’s been here all along just waiting for a virgin to cross the door once I heard his children’s plea to call him I could not refuse

Reg‘s mind was working overtime this wasn’t happening to him its 2006 this is the 21^st century demons don’t exist..

 but they do reg I’m afraid they do as the new lord approached him with his gleaming white teeth the last thing he knew was that life was never going to be the same and as he watched Alex’s lips coming closer towards him

Her teeth shining brilliant white sharp and fang like

Jayne Katherine Alexandria Ll

Jkall

2006 _2007